“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
No matter how I read this scripture, it sounds painful to me. It speaks of friction and a honing away of unnecessary material. Ouch.
Someone asked me one time this question: If you could only have one tool in your kitchen, what would it be. Without hesitation, I replied that it would be a sharp chef’s knife. Every meal I make begins with chopping or cutting, so what good would any other tool be if I didn’t have my knife? Maybe it’s my Italian heritage, but I just need a good knife.
However, a knife is worthless to me if it isn’t sharp. In fact, a dull knife is the most dangerous tool in the kitchen, something I learned from experience early in my food prep and cooking. There are a lot of devices for sharpening knives, but my favorite is the old-fashioned steel, moving the blade back and forth across it until the dull becomes sharp. The sound it makes is not my favorite, similar to scraping a blackboard, but it’s worth the temporary discomfort. The important thing to know about using the steel is the angle of the knife to the steel – 20% is best – and after about ten swipes back and forth on each side, that knife will cut a tomato with impressive precision.
Iron sharpens iron. It’s all about the angle. And so it is with our interaction with friends and acquaintances. No one likes to be criticized. I’ve never started the day with the thought, I hope someone criticizes me today so that I can grow and improve. Critical words can disrupt a friendship and destroy family ties, yet when those words come from pure intent offered in love, they can change us and make us more like Him.
Regardless of the intent of the criticism leveled against us, it’s the angle or perspective we take that makes the difference. If we defend against it, reject or respond in anger, how will we ever determine if that criticism is valid and offers the prospect of becoming a little sharper?
Sometimes we listen to a sermon in church, and life becomes a little uncomfortable. We feel that the minister is getting up in our business, so to speak, getting a little too personal. Rather than leaving the church in a huff, receiving the words spoken as iron meant to sharpen us would serve us well. It was the Pharisees listening to Jesus who couldn’t handle the iron.
We often are unaware of characteristics we possess that could use a little honing. After moving to the southern United States several years ago, I experienced a reality check in this area. I don’t know if it was triggered by my somewhat unemotional northern upbringing or my personality, but it was an eye-opener. A friend was going through a difficult situation, and I was praying for her. When I mentioned this to her, she replied that she didn’t know that I even cared enough to pray about it because of my lack of communication. Ouch. Even though her words were hurtful, I took what she said to heart and realized that I needed to move past some of my northern ways, fit into my more expressive culture and communicate! As a missionary, this understanding has served me well in Europe. I became a little sharper that day.
Some individuals have a critical spirit about everyone and everything, and what a terrible way to live. We know how God views this conduct with the story of Miriam, the sister of Moses, found in Numbers 12 – not good. While Miriam’s behavior is a topic for another day, the angle I want to take when receiving criticism, and sometimes it’s a struggle, is that perhaps God is using someone’s comments to make me sharper. I’m humbled that He loves me enough to do it. If I’m wrong, what have I lost, and if I’m right, well, I get sharper. It always helps to remember that God loves the individual offering criticism just as much as He loves me – He really does.
So, as we move throughout our day, interacting within our many relationships, let’s allow God to speak to us however He chooses, receiving His correction from those He uses to sharpen us. By doing this, we will be valuable tools for Him. Let’s be sharp!
Rev. Phyllis Benigas, Missionary to Europe